OK, found the culprit.
So basically, I noticed that when I send new appointments, they appear in the recipient's outlook, only to dissapear some seconds later (not all, only some).
So I thought that maybe there could be an issue with meetings that get rejected automatically.
I outruled the outlook client because I checked appointment reject settings & rules.
So I've disabled the twostep rule processor in server in /etc/gromox/exmdb_local.cfg, rebooted, and voilà !
No more problems with not appearing / disappearing appointments.
Now there's still that other problem with the "one step" rule processor where received mails moved to subfolders by rules don't trigger a folder update in outlook.
So far:
Option 1: use "onestep" rule processor and don't get subfolders updated when rules move received emails
Option 2: use "twostep" rule processor and don't get all calendar appointments shown
Hopefully my above diagnostic is enough.
...help please !